The Big Picture

“Leslie! Toss me that blanket and that pillow. No, the heavy one! It’ll help counter the weight of the other blanket.”

“Okay, I’m throwing it to you!” Leslie tossed the thick pink blanket to her sister Julie and Julie caught it on the corner, securing it to the lamppost and throwing the pillow on the bottom right, letting the lamp shake and balance. Julie squealed, as she ducked under the blanket that was now hoisted above the ground, connected from the lamp to the edge of the cat tree, secured and tied to that post.

“Let’s make the fort bigger!” Leslie giggled. “I’ll grab a chair from outside to help support the next blanket.”

“No!” Julie shouted carefully. “No materials from outside, remember? That’s the challenge.” She smiled as Leslie pouted. “Look- the china doll in the corner of the table is really heavy! I’ll throw the striped blanket over the lamppost and connect it to the closet door and you’ll put the china doll on the edge of the night stand to press down the weight of the second blanket, okay?”

“But… Julie, that china doll is glass.” Leslie bit her lip. “If the blanket falls, it could break.”

Julie waved her hand carelessly. “Don’t worry sis. We’re working on carpet here, it won’t break! Besides, it’s part of the risk of building a hut.”

“I still think it should be called a fort.” Leslie put her hands on her hips as she climbed over and under the few stools they had put up and reached for the striped blanket Julie was throwing on the opposite side of the pink blanket, closing the holes of light that streamed through.

“Alright! Put it on the nightstand!” Julie said, as Leslie hid the corner of the striped blanket on the nightstand and carefully placed the china doll on the edge of it. She let go, holding her breath and the sisters stepped back, admiring their work. Through the entire guest room, they had managed to search through and find blankets, bed sheets, small weights, stools, and had managed to build an entire hut that ranged from the door of the room to the opposite side, the entire top of the hut made of blankets that was almost as tall as the two girls were.

Leslie squealed, ducking under the blanket and crawling through the ground. “This is so much fun!”
“I told you building a hut would be amazing. Now we can hide out here and play games!”

Julie ducked and slid into the hut, crawling over to the mini mat they had made into a bed.

“Well, what’s the first game?” Leslie said, squeezing over to lie next to Julie.

“I was thinking we could race through the hut and time how fast it takes for each of us to go through the entire thing.” Julie said, taking off her watch and setting a timer. “I’ll stand outside of the hut and you can go first.”

Leslie crawled to the edge of the hut, a look of determination scribbled over her face. “I’m ready!” She called, mapping through her path.

“GO!” Shouted Julie, starting the timer and watching Leslie race through the hut, twisting and turning through the stools and weird contraptions they had put up.

“Hey! Watch that lamppost! If that falls, we’re done for!” Julie shouted as Leslie breezed through the section where the lamp, the center of the structure of their hut, was standing.

“Alright! Time! Time!” Leslie called, out of breath as she reached the other side of the room. “Dang, that really hurts my knees.” She rubbed her knees and popped out of the hut, snatching the watch from Julie’s hands. “Wow I’m super good at this! Twenty-one seconds! You try and beat that, Julie!” She smirked as Julie pelted to the start of the maze.

“Oh please, you’re so slow Mr. Turtle would beat you.”

“Go!” Leslie shouted, clicking the start button on the watch.

Julie was intent on beating Leslie. She rambled through the hut, crashing through the sharp turns. Fear twisted in Leslie’s stomach. “Julie! Watch out! Don’t hit the lamp-” her sentence turned into a scream as Julie turned the corner and bowled into the lamppost, sending it spiraling to the ground. Leslie dove to catch it from falling and Julie shrieked, watching as the blanket above her fell. They watched as the series of blankets fell, one after the other, until the striped blanket pulled towards the ground, bringing towards it the one thing Leslie had feared.

Leslie screamed at the top of her lungs, a high-pitched wail that overpowered the sound of the glass cracking against the carpet floor.

“Oh shush Leslie! You’re screaming’s so loud it’s probably what broke the china doll.”

“Oh we’re done for Julie this is your entire fault!” Leslie wailed. “Mom’s going to kill us!” She paced back and forth. “Oh no, we’re gonna die!”

“No we’re not. Stop being such a sis.” Julie said, carefully piecing together the broken fragments of glass. “Gosh I hope mom doesn’t come down here. We told her not to bother us while we built our hut. Come on, help me throw away these pieces before mom sees them!”

“You think she won’t miss that her favorite china doll that she got from China went missing?” Leslie said, eyes glittering with tears.

Julie sighed and cross the room, throwing away the pieces of glass that pricked at her hands. “Come on, let’s put the hut back together.”

“I don’t want to play this game anymore.” Leslie said, sniffling. “You always ruin everything.”

“I ruin everything?” Julie snarled, snatching the blanket up and tying it to the night post instead of using the weight. She paused. “It slants downwards, but that’s the best we can do. Help me put the other blankets back on top! And get some more heavy pillows on the lamp.”

Leslie stood there, eyes puffy and red with anger. After a moment, she started to help Julie put back the blankets, until they had constructed a replica of the hut they had before.

“Let’s be careful with where we crawl now.” Leslie said, ducking into the hut and sliding into one of the bigger areas they had made. She felt Julie rest next to her and they stared up at the blanket above them, as if the stars were within reach.

“Gosh I just want to live here forever.” Julie said. “It would be so cool, wouldn’t it?”

“It’s like camping, in our own house.” Leslie giggled, closing her eyes. “Let’s lock the door so mom never comes in and takes it down.”

Julie smiled. “Probably the wisest phrase you’ve said today, little sister.”  

“Girls, why is the guest door room locked?” Mrs. Hill tried the door twice, forcing the handle down only to be brought up in a halt. “I told you not to lock doors unless necessary, like when we’re being robbed. Open up, now.”

“We are being robbed.” Came a voice inside. “If you come in here and see the hut we’ve made, you’re bound to take it down!”

“Leslie, if you’re making a mess of my guest rooms, there’s nowhere else for the guests to sleep!”

“Mom, you always say that, and we never have any guests that come. I mean this is basically our play room.”

Mrs. Hill paused, sighing with annoyance. “Well come on out, it’s almost time for school. I’ve let you sleep there for the night, you should be glad I haven’t gotten your father to knock down this door. We have a key, you know.”

There was no reply. “Did you girls make a mess in there?”

“No, mom.” Came the reply.

“Did you break anything?”

“No, mom.” The reply came a bit too hastily, from Julie.

Mrs. Hill frowned, sighing impatiently again and looking at her watch. “Alright, I’m taking you girls to school in ten minutes, so be at the door, please.”

She left, walking back to the kitchen and looked at her husband.

“So apparently they’ve destroyed the guest room but they don’t want us to take whatever they’ve made down. Who knows what they’ve done in there.”

Mr. Hill smiled. “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll take a look in there once you take them to school.”

“Okay, we need a plan. Let’s lock the door after we leave. Did you get both the keys from mom’s bedroom?”

“Affirmative.” Leslie said, tucking in both keys into her pocket.

“Better give one to me, can’t trust you.” Julie said, snatching one of them. “Alright, if dad doesn’t kick down the door, we should be good.” The girls snuck out of the room, locked the door from the inside, and smiled innocently at their mother as they piled into the car.

“Leslie? Are you in here?” Julie whispered, taking out her key and sliding it into the door quietly.

“Julie? Come here!” Came the call from the kitchen- her mother. Rolling her eyes, Julie strode into the kitchen with a fake smile. “Hey mom! School was great! Got to do my homework now, I’ll see you during dinner.” Julie moved away just as her mother caught her.

“Julie Hill, stop.” Her voice had turned stern, an icy glass that had veiled between her and her daughter. Julie turned around, quiet. “I’m tired of hearing your endless sarcasm around here. I want some real reports from you at school. And you’re going to give me back the key to the door and I’m going to go in and see what you’ve made and if I have to take it down or not.”

“Mom, we took a whole day to build that, you’re not taking it down.” Julie didn’t even add a please in her sentence. She would not be brought down to beg. It was a statement, not a question. “It’s just like a hut thing… a shelter where Leslie and I can do homework and talk. No harm.”

“Then why do you have to lock the door?”

Julie blinked once, and then twice. Two blinks and she had an answer. She always had an answer. “Leslie and I created a secret society and no one can know our secret headquarters.”

Mrs. Hill rolled her eyes. “I promise you that your father and I will not enter that room if you just give back the key. No stealing in this household, remember.”

Julie locked her jaw, staring at her mother intently, a challenge she was not yet ready to give up. After a moment, she sighed and took the key from her pocket, landing it on the table.

“I’ve really got to go, mom. Homework calls for me to do it.”

“I’ve never seen someone so eager to do homework.” Mrs. Hill said sourly as she continued to walk to her room. Julie ran to the guest room and knocked quietly.

“Leslie?”

After a moment, the door opened ajar and Leslie’s bright blue eyes stared into hers. Julie had always wanted bright blue eyes like her sister’s eyes. They were crystal blue, not like her dull green sour-apple color.

“What happened to your key?” She whispered, letting Julie in.

“Mom found out that I had a copy, I had to give it back. She might find out that you had one too.” Julie crawled under the hut and set down her backpack, pulling out papers. “How was school today?”

At this sentence, Leslie tightened, her lips pulled back into a tight purse. Her hands folded behind her and she crawled to the other side of the hut.

“Yeah, fine.” She said, barely in a whisper. Julie leaned forward to strain to hear her and tried to get a good look at her sister.

“Leslie, you okay? Did you get bullied today or something? Are you alright? You know I’m your big sister I can help you if someone’s hurting you…”

“I’m fine!” Leslie yelled spontaneously, her voice echoing through the hut fiercely and Julie’s eyes widened as she moved backwards towards the door.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I just… was trying to help.” A pang echoed in her heart.

“No, sorry, I just- I’m just really tired.” Leslie said, mumbling words. “Let’s just do our homework.”

Julie nodded, although she knew Leslie couldn’t see her. Leslie’s personality wasn’t thick, so Julie assumed Leslie had gotten a bad score on a test, or had a fight with one of her friends. Shrugging, she dismissed the strange change in mood.

“We should add more things to our hut.” She tried after a while of silence. “Some décor- maybe flashing lights or night lights when we’re sleeping!” She was hoping the intentions of improving their hut would make Leslie brighten. Her intentions didn’t backfire as Leslie’s small face looked up from the other side of the room.

“That sounds so fun! We could bring in those mini portable desks so we don’t have to write on the ground and we could move in all our notebooks.” Leslie added, crawling towards the entrance. “I’ll go grab some stuff from my room.”

Julie’s mind sharpened and as Leslie exited the room, Julie crawled over to Leslie’s working area and peered at her work and through her backpack carefully, scouring for evidence that would explain her bad mood- nothing. Leslie returned with a small lap desk in her right hand and a few notebooks in her left.

“Alright, do you want to go get the lights?” She asked Julie as she set them down in the corner.

Julie got up silently and retreated from the room, not going to get the lights but padding silently to their mother’s room.

“Mom?”

Mrs. Hill looked up, and her face warmed into a smile. “Julie, it’s nice of you to visit. What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure, I just felt a little worried about Leslie.” Julie said quietly and Mrs. Hill’s countenance sharpened quickly.

“What’s wrong with Leslie?”

“She seemed really touchy about the subject of school today. I was just wondering if she said anything to you today after she came home from school- you know, you usually ask how school is every day.”

Mrs. Hill paused and looked intently at Julie.

“No, she didn’t say much to me, except how she aced her spelling test, that’s all.”

Julie shrugged, an uneasy feeling boiling inside her. “I’m not sure. I’m probably just overreacting you know, like I usually do. I just want to make sure my sister’s okay.”

Mrs. Hill smiled. “Don’t you worry Julie I’ll keep a good eye on Leslie.”

Julie smiled and retrieved the lights, returning to their hut as soon as they could. The rest of the day, Leslie returned to normal, but Julie couldn’t help but wonder there was something bigger at hand in her sister’s secret life.

“I have to stay after school today, mom.” Leslie said to Mrs. Hill during the car ride.

Julie looked up at Leslie.

“Why?” She asked, even before her mother could say anything. “You’ve never stayed after school before in the entire year so far.”

“My friend just started a drawing club and I wanted to join.” Leslie said, and Julie narrowed her eyes. Mrs. Hill watched them through her rearview mirror and noticed Julie’s reaction.

“Alright, that’s fine Leslie. What time do I pick you up?”

“3:15, when you pick up Julie from middle school.” Leslie said.

3:15? Julie could not believe it. Leslie’s school got out at 2:00!

Suspicion rose in Julie and she peered into the rearview mirror back into her mom’s eyes.

“I told you something wasn’t right.” Julie said immediately after her mom had dropped off Leslie at the gates first at her elementary school.

“Look, Julie, Leslie’s fine. She’s probably just undergoing a lot of… peer pressure right now to join this drawing club. But she’ll enjoy it, it’s more like her to get involved.”

“Get involved?” Julie stared at the elementary school as they pulled away. “School’s the one place where no one knows what goes on.” Julie said quietly. “You drop off your kid in the morning, watch her go into a building full of strangers and you pick her up every day at the same time. You have no idea what goes on in the building, and what fake smile your child could be wearing when she comes back out, or who’s done what to her. You don’t know anything about what happens, mom, so I wouldn’t trust myself if I were you.”

“Julie!” Her mom’s voice was shocked, turning into a harsh yell. “Enough of this. Leslie’s fine! She’s going through sixth grade nerves, that’s all. And that’s also why I ask both of you how was your school day every day. I expect both of you to be honest to me, and if someone or something is bothering both of you, I expect you girls to tell me. I want to help you girls, but first I have to know.”

“It’s hard.” Julie whispered, almost too quiet for her mother to hear. “It’s hard to tell your parents everything that goes on. You guys don’t see things we do.”

“Julie-” her mother started but Julie looked up and they had reached her school. She opened the door, slamming it behind her as rage boiled in her stomach. She ran to her locker and thrust it open, throwing her binders in there and just about to close it right when she noticed something sticking out from the edge of the handle- something white, like a tuft of fur. Narrowing her eyes carefully, Julie pulled it out- a piece of paper. Slowly opening it, her hands turned icy cold as she read the words revealed on the paper. Her heartbeat stopped, pausing a moment to comprehend the note. Almost immediately, she crunched up the paper and threw it away in the trash, her hands trembling uncontrollably and moving her rigid feet slowly, she ran to her first class, where she sat down, eyes trained on the desk before her, the words of the note reciting before and before her eyes.

“Please, someone knows my locker combination and has been sending me strange notes. I’d like to change lockers please.” Julie said as she waited patiently for the administrator to register what she was asking. The lady looked up and peered at Julie.

“Yes, sure, what’s your locker number dear?”

“Fifteen, please.”

The lady paused as she retrieved another lock. “If someone is sending you strange notes, you should probably report them to the office, honey.”

“I will!” Julie snatched the locket and smiled quickly, before running out of the office and straight to her locker, fiddling to unlock the one already on her and replace it with the new one. She unlocked it, pulling down hard and thrusting the locker open. Suddenly with a scream, she dropped to the floor, heart skyrocketing faster than the beats of a horseback riding race. There were shouts from nearby, and Julie watched as a crowd of people surrounded her, talking in mumbled voices… all she saw was several teachers coming in before she blacked.

Julie woke, moaning as she sat up slowly and looked around- the nurses office.

“Take it easy, honey.” The nurse said, coming to give her some water and crackers. “We’ve got the whole police down there at your locker, don’t worry.”

Julie moaned in pain as she leaned forward. “What happened?”

“You fainted dear,” the nurse said, stepping forward to feel her forehead. “I wouldn’t blame you. Quite a message in that locker of yours.”

Julie shot up, her memory clearing. “Oh gosh. The locker, I have to-”

“Don’t worry, honey. The police will clear everything up.” The nurse cut her off.

“The police?” Julie screamed with alarm, sprinting across the office and out the door, scrambling to get to her locker, which was surrounded with caution tape around the edges. The locker had been left open though; the message Julie had been left untouched. She shuddered carefully and swallowed, her eyes trained upon the entire message now. Her locker had been practically ripped apart, with red paint splattered all over the inside- meant to look like blood, she presumed. Three words had simply been scraped over with black sharpie: I’m, Watching, You. Julie’s throat tightened as she looked over her shoulder, every nerve inside her body tingling with anticipation. Death threats? She started to sob quietly, moving away quickly when she saw more police officers coming. The time on the clock read 3:07 P.M., almost time for the school day to be over. Julie breathed in and out, relieved she could go home.

“Julie! Oh my gosh, are you alright?” There was a rush and Julie felt arms grab her in a tight hug, squeezing her tightly.

“Mom, I’m fine, I’m just fine. Just, you know, got a death threat. But that’s okay, you know? I’ll be fine.” She said, smiling weakly.

“We’re going to have two police officers stationed opposite of our house for the next week.” Mrs. Hill said warmly. “You’ll be fine.” She put her shoulders on Julie. “Julie, answer me truthfully. Who would want to give you death threats? Have you got on anyone’s bad side?”

Julie thought hard, but the only person she had argued with since the past week was her sister, Leslie.

“I don’t think I ever intended to be mean, if that’s what it came off as.” Julie whispered. “Mom, can we go home?”

“Not yet, the police officers have some questions for you.”

Julie paused, thinking about the time and Leslie.

“You should go pick up Leslie when it hits 3:15.”

“No, I’m staying here right with you. No one’s going to hurt you anymore.”

“Leslie will be waiting-” Julie pushed her mother to leave.

“Leslie will be fine.” Her mother’s tone wasn’t harsh, but Julie knew not to argue with her anymore. “And your dad’s work is much too far off for him to drive back here. Come on, into the office to answer some questions.”

What in the world is going on? Julie asked herself as she stepped into the office. Who would want me to die?

Julie stepped out into the hall, smiling weakly at the officers as they surrounded the locker.

“Don’t worry Julie, we’re going to send some officers to watch your house.”

“Let’s go home, darling.” Mrs. Hill took Julie’s hand and led her out to the car.

“Are we going to pick up Leslie?” Julie asked quietly, looking at her watch that read 4:00.

“I’m taking you home first, and I’ll definitely go back for Leslie.”

Exhaustion filled Julie’s head as she waited to get back home to cuddle in her hut with her sister.

Julie slammed the door, sliding into the hut and laying on the ground, heart pumping and eyes dodging with every sound. She closed her eyes, sinking into a comfortable sleep and the next moment she knew it her eyes had been shot open, the sound of the car door slamming making her thrust forward and out of the guest room. Julie stepped back, startled, as the unwavering darkness stared upon her. Her eyes peered at the clock ticking on the wall and she gasped- it was nearly 11 P.M. Alarm flared inside her as she stumbled down the hall, peering into the kitchen. The lights were off- her father’s bag, which usually sat on the table, wasn’t there. Heart pounding with fear, Julie skidded over to the phone and dialed the number that was fixated into her brain.

“Mom? It’s Julie. Where are you?”

The response came slowly as a monotone, her voice sharp. “Don’t worry about me, Julie, or your dad. We’re together.”

“How about Leslie, did you pick her up?”

There was silence. “I have to go.” Was all her mom said before the line cut.

If ever her heart had beaten quicker, this was the moment, as Julie fell to the ground, her head feeling faint. Her fingers trembled, as if atrophying from the nerves and she frantically clicked the numbers on the phone again.

“Mom, answer the phone.” She said at in the speaker voice shaking uncontrollably. “Mom, just pick up the phone and tell me what’s going on.” She paused, hearing the rings go on endlessly, like a tick inside her head that wouldn’t shut up. “MOM JUST ANSWER ME!” She screeched, the tears finally streaking down her face as she pelted the phone against the wall, hearing the rings stop as the pieces fell into a million shatters, lain across the floor. Julie held herself with her arms and wept, never feeling lonelier.

Julie woke, her eyes peeling away from each other and she felt the effects of her breakdown, imprinted on her eyes. Light streamed in from the window room- the next morning. She was still on the floor where she was the night before, but the shards of the phone had been picked up. Julie stood up shakily and looked around- there. Her father’s bag and mother’s purse. They were home. Julie slowly crept down the hall and opened the guest door room quietly.

“Leslie?” She whispered, her voice cracking as she felt the absence of another person. She ran down to Leslie’s room, which was shut and she hesitated, hand lain across the doorknob.

“Les?” She asked again, a little louder.

 “She’s not there Julie.” Came a soft voice, and she spun around, facing her father.

Julie blinked, and then bowed her head slowly, thoughts racing as time came to a halt. Suddenly, without a moment’s notice, her eyes burned with rage and her hands tightened into fists. She sprang at her father, clawing and tearing at him, screaming in rage, her voice cracking with hoarseness as she yelled at him, lectured him and argued about how he never told her what happened.

Heavy hands wrapped around her in a tight hug, a controlling hug.

“Julie, I’ll tell you what’s going on if you just be quiet.” Her father’s voice was defeated, and a pang broke from Julie’s heart, the pang like her heart snapping in two hearing her own father sounding dejected. She slumped to the ground, eyes stinging with the bitterness as if she had eaten a raw onion.

“I want to know where’s my sister.” She whispered fiercely, not meaning to sound as weak as it came out. “I want to know where Leslie is.”

Her father sat on the ground with her, his eyes moving quickly from side to side. Julie frowned as she watched him, as if she could guess that tears were waiting behind those blue, clear eyes of his, just waiting for the right word to cue their entrance.

“Your mother called me late last night to come to the police station. She explained she had gone to pick Leslie up, but she wasn’t at the school. She’s missing.”

Julie felt her spine chill, a feeing unexplainable.

“What do you mean, she’s missing. She has to be found.”

“They’re looking for her.” Her father stood up. “But it doesn’t look good, Julie. Whenever we try to call her phone, the answering message isn’t what it usually is.”

Julie held her stomach, fear crawling up her. “What do you mean? It’s supposed to be ‘Hey, it’s Leslie, call me back later’. What did she change it to?”

“She didn’t change it, Julie.” Her father’s voice was barely audible, a mere voice in the shadows. “Someone else changed it.”

Julie stood up and leaned against the wall, head throbbing.

“No, I won’t believe this. I’m going up to my room and no one’s going to bother me or I’ll hurt them.” She said, struggling to find her feet and climbing back up into the guest room, sliding under the hut and laying her head down, eyes filling with tears.

“No! Stop!” She screamed to herself. “Don’t do this to me!” She said, screaming into her pillow, with muffled cries. “I don’t want tears anymore, okay? I’m sick and tired of them. Why are you doing this to me? Whoever you are?” She collapsed into tears. “Leslie’s going to be okay, alright? Promise me that!” She yelled at the wall, imagining a face plastered onto the white paint. “Just tell me she’ll be back home in this hut!” Julie turned over, eyes burning with blurry tears. “Just tell me she’ll be back in this fort!” She was raging now, kicking frantically in the air. She stood up and screamed in rage, throwing herself onto the fort and destroying it- ripping the blankets off one another and throwing the pillows on the wall. She thrust the blankets to the floor, watching as the lamp fell over, smashing to the ground in a tumble. Julie broke, kneeling on the ground and sobbing, choking.

“Julie! What’s going on?” She heard a voice from the other side of the door.

“No!” She screamed at the door. “Don’t you come in here, mother! This is all your fault! If you had actually picked her up after school she wouldn’t be kidnapped, okay? She wouldn’t have been wandering around for five hours looking for a mom who wasn’t there, okay? I don’t care if I die, just let her live!” Julie ran over the door and kicked it with the remaining energy she had, the burn of pain seeping up her leg as she repeatedly kicked it.

“Julie stop it!” Her mother cried. “I’m coming in!”

Julie seethed with rage, throwing her weight against the door as she felt the opposing pressure of her mom trying to push her way in.

“No, you go down to that police station and you don’t come back till you have Leslie with you! Go! Damn it mom, go!” Julie let go of holding the door and immediately felt the rush of the door slam open from the pressure her mother was pushing against it. Head swirling with undeniable rage, she watched as her mother stood up in front of her, and without second thoughts, she threw a fist at her mother’s face, feeing the satisfying feeling of her bones, her weak and small bones meet her mother’s face. She could feel nothing in those empty emotions her mother had- nothing for Leslie. And as she felt strong hands grab her, her emotions atrophied and her mind went black.  

“Julie Hill? Wake up, please.”

Julie threw her head up, startled at the unrecognizable voice. “Who- where-…” She paused, looking around and finally realizing she was at the police headquarters. “Did you guys find Leslie?” She was facing a young woman with a suit on, not one of those police officer outfits with badges strewn all over them.

“Julie Hill we need you to accept the truth, and be a big girl, okay?”

Julie’s eyes narrowed, seeing the name Lyssa Abey plated on the woman’s suit.

“I am a big girl.” Julie said quietly, looking down and clasping her pale, white, hands together. “I’m only in eighth grade, though, don’t you think I’m a bit young to be accepting the news that my sister’s gone missing?”

Ms. Abey looked at her, eyes turning soft. “Julie, we need you to control yourself and not attack your parents again.”

Julie looked up sharply at Ms. Abey, and then hid away her head inbetween her hands.

“Just say what you need to say.” Julie said angrily and quickly.

There was a pause, almost too long.

“Julie, your sister was found dead this morning.”

The silence was palpable. Julie closed her eyes, swallowing carefully and nodding silently to herself, banging her head against her closed fists that were shaking- struggling to contain themselves. She breathed aloud, twice, and let the quietness overwhelm her. Ms. Abey didn’t move. The hand on the clock moved slowly but surely, for seconds, minutes, passing each tick mark individually.

“She was found in a trash bin, her body wrapped in a trash bag. We’re finding out what happened-”

“Stop.” Julie said abruptly, keeping her mouth closed, teeth gritted against each other. “Just stop.” She hissed through her teeth. She opened her eyes, bloodshot with effort to stop the tears from streaming out. “Just stop, please. I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t.”

Ms. Abey bowed her head and stepped out of the room, shutting the door with a click and leaving Julie alone in there, eyes remaining dry and fists remaining closed.

“That’s not okay.” She whispered aloud to herself. “That’s wrong. What happened?” She whispered, louder this time, and she looked up through the windows of the room, barely catching her mother and father standing near the desk of the office. She burst out of the room and charged up to them, alarmed calls surrounding her.

“What happened.” She said, not a question but a statement, her tone not angry anymore, but flat out dead.

Her parents turned towards her and Julie felt a weak twitching in her muscles. She looked down, not bringing herself to meet the gaze of her parent’s weak eyes- full of tears she knew had fallen earlier, full of guilt and sorrow.

“Right now it looks like she was kidnapped and murdered, driven away to the furthest dump in town and disposed of. We’re still investigating.” The man at the desk paused. “I’m very sorry for your loss. It would be best if you all return to your home and recuperate. I’ll phone you when more information comes.”

“It was never about me, was it?” Julie asked aloud, more to herself. “My locker and the threat in there. No. It was all about Leslie. Someone knew our living patterns and knew our schedules- they knew that mom would come for me.”

“Julie, please.” Mrs. Hill said softly. “The police will find out, let’s just go home.”

Julie sat on the windowsill, the newspaper propped against her news as she read it, eyes sweeping over the words.

“Leslie Hill was kidnapped outside of Parkers Elementary School and brutally murdered, the loss devastating to her family. Earlier that day her sister Julie Hill had received a death threat at school, but later confessed by the killer as to have made it a distraction…” Julie trailed off from reading the paper aloud, her eyes peering at the picture of the killer at the right of the column. Cold hatred filled her heart and she clenched the paper, tearing it apart. “The reason for the murder was unknown?” She read again from the part of the paper she left behind. Pausing, she narrowed her eyes.

“Julie it’s been a week since you’ve left school, I’m sure you can go back now.” Mrs. Hill told Julie, coming in to stroke her hair.

“Mom, I want to do one last thing before I go to school. Promise me you’ll let me do it.”

“We’ll visit her grave every day.” Mrs. Hill promised.

“No- that’s not what I’m asking.” Julie blinked slowly. She held her breath. “I still hear her, every day, mom. Every day, I hear her voice calling out to me, asking to build our… fort again. And I destroyed it, mom. I destroyed our last memory together.”

“Oh, Julie.” Her mother choked with sadness, holding her daughter to her chest. “I hear her never ending cries too, darling. But don’t worry, she’s in eternal peace now and nobody can stop that. What did you want to ask me?”

Julie paused. “I-I want to visit him.”

She felt her mother’s arms tighten around her and Mrs. Hill stepped back. “Who, honey?”

“You know, him. I don’t know his name, and I don’t want to know his name, because giving him a name means I would acknowledge him. I don’t want to acknowledge him, I just want to talk to him.”

Horror grew on Mrs. Hill’s face. “No. You are absolutely not talking to that monster. How dare you taunt your sister’s death by speaking to the man who killed her?”

Julie stood up, pain flaring through her eyes. “I didn’t say I was teasing her, I just want to speak with him. Please, mom- just this once. For me... for Leslie.”  

Julie opened the door slowly, peeking inside. The air was musty, the dim lights flickering with a low glow and a hard, stone, wall surrounded the entire cell.

“Go on, Julie. Don’t worry, the conversation will be taped.”

Julie looked up sharply at the officer. “Please Officer K., don’t tape the conversation. Not this time. Please. Don’t worry, he won’t say anything.”

“Julie, it’s law to tape any conversation in a jail cell from visitors. I’m sorry.”

Julie sighed and stepped in, hearing the door shut behind her.

“Well, well, well.” She heard a voice from the shadows and saw the figure of a man sitting at a table, hands cuffed to iron bands that were attached to the table. “Who’s up next?”

Julie remained silent, crossing the room to sit across from him. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t afraid of him, for his face carried the typical image of “criminal” that the United States had painted so well for its citizens.

“Hello, my name is Julie.” She paused. “But wait, you already know me.”

The man laughed, a quiet chuckle that sent a chill up her spine. “Yes, Miss Julie Hill, glad to finally see you.”

“How did you get through my school without being seen?”

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” the man said, eyes intent on Julie. “The art of deception and disguise. People are so stupid these days.”

Julie narrowed her eyes. “There’s no way you could have written that message in my locker without being seen.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” The man said, grinning. “When you observe a certain pattern of life so many times, you find certain times when nobody roams the halls- and everything is quiet.” He smiled, his crooked, black, teeth exposed to Julie. “Pleasure to meet you, Julie. My name’s Laz.”

“I didn’t ask for your name.” Julie said hastily, but cursed to herself. She knew his name now, and she would hate it forever. “I’m here to find out why you killed my sister.”

“You think I would just plain tell you? Compared to all the other officers that have tortured me for the reason? No… I’m not that easy to slip.”

Julie looked into his eyes, seeing his evil, malicious twinkle shining at her. But she paused, and looked deeper, searching through the depth of his brain and she felt only sadness and regret.

“You’re sad, aren’t you?” Julie asked quietly. “They’re always sad, driven to anger.”

Julie felt a shift in the air as she said that sentence and she congratulated herself on the punch. She could get him to talk.

“No, there’s something called killing for pleasure, I think you’re a bit too young to understand that not every problem has a solution and that not every solution has a problem.”

Julie looked up. “There wouldn’t be a solution if there wasn’t a problem.”

“Nope. Killing someone- a solution. There was no problem with your sister, just pleasure.”

Julie looked at him carefully. He’s getting away with this- steer it back to his past. Steer it back.

“I never really understood who had the heart in the world to take a gun, or knife and stick it through someone. I would think there was never that much hatred filled in one’s veins- that their brain would tell them halfway that what they were doing was wrong, that human life was valued. I just don’t understand the mind of you all.”

“Us? The criminals, yes, that’s how people refer to us, now. Just as one- the race of criminals.” Laz leaned forward. “Well, let me tell you this, smart little girl. The human brain is a complicated little pathway and network of nerves. When one of those nerves gets just a little bit screwed the entire system goes down- no one’s in charge, and that’s when other things come in play- emotions, they come in and tangle with the facts that you know. The peripheral system starts feeling things without letting the central system knowing; the human body becomes a disorderly complex that not even the initial nerve wanted.” His spit flew on top of the table as his eyes drilled into Julie. “So it’s not what you think, okay? You think the whole globe is peaceful because it’s quiet in your little brain in your little town? Well it’s good thing I showed up and taught you what real life is because out there, things aren’t going right and society these days don’t teach their children the real world, so I’m out here showing it to people.”

Julie let him finish, the words ringing in her head. She slowly laid out her points across her head, slowly ready to crush each of his points.

“You’re showing us the real world by killing people. Well, let me tell you what. The three-tier system in this world is unfair, and there’s not a goddamn thing we can do about it. But there is something we can do about it, and that’s trying to help the undeveloped countries come into their own. And here you are talking about showing us the real world, and it only takes a naïve and stupid idiot to think that killing random people will help show us the real world, alright? Here you talk about society not teaching us, but you’re not teaching anything either! You think you can just waltz in a kill one person and everything’s going to be okay?” Julie stood up, anger boiling inside of her. “No! This world is out of balance and nothing’s going to be able to fix it- it’s a human flaw to think that we can fix what’s out of balance, but we can’t, alright? And no one else is gonna care, at the end of the day! What are they gonna do, sit at the T.V. screen and see the words ‘Leslie Hill brutally murdered’ and suddenly realize what’s happening in the world? No! They’re just going to shake their head and sigh and get on playing their goddamn games on the computer and enjoying their vacations on the cruise boat while the rest of Africa’s children are crying to even get one piece of bread in their mouths! And you think people don’t feel bad? Yeah, they feel bad, but what are they going to do about it?”

Julie could see Laz startle and she continued, pushing to finish her argument.

“Killing won’t help the world realize what they’ve become- and that wasn’t your purpose for killing Leslie, either! There’s always a selfish reason- some stupid, selfish reason that all criminals do to take away others’ lives! And here I sat, thinking everyone is a good person, they just make bad decisions, and believing maybe people could be changed.”

“I couldn’t.” Laz said, more quietly, and Julie knew instantly she had hit the pressure point. “I couldn’t, okay? It’s not my fault I grew up around violence. I even watched my own father kill my brother, alright? It’s out!” He was raging now, and Julie backed towards the door by a step. “But this isn’t one of those stories where the criminal realizes he did wrong and was sorry for it- I’m not sorry for killing her, alright? It’s time to let some families feel the same suffering and loneliness I did when I was a child, and did anyone come to help me? No!”

“We would have helped you.” Julie said. “All of us. But you never came.”

“No. Nobody would have come. And if I hadn’t been caught, I would have killed every little child in that neighborhood and in the world till everyone knew suffering like I did, and maybe then the whole world would come to see in terms how I wanted them to.”

“You’re insane.” Julie breathed, quietly. “You’re just insane. This isn’t how life is supposed to be!”

Laz snorted. “A little girl, what do you know of life? Nothing.”

“Then I have nothing more to ask you.” Julie said, stepping out of the room just before her tears fell.

“Well, you got what you wanted, are you pleased now?” Mrs. Hill looked in the rear view mirror at Julie.

“No, I wasn’t pleased with my answer. He was very…” Julie trailed off.

“Julie, there’s a lot to learn in life. Not everyone can see your way, and you can’t see everyone’s way. Just remember, that in the end, we’ll all be okay.”’

Julie slumped in her seat, exhaustion filling her. “Mom, I used to think that there were no bad people on this earth. I just don’t understand.”

Mrs. Hill sighed. “These are the philosophies of the mind, sweetie. They’re made to make your brain hurt.”

“I just don’t understand why he killed Leslie, in the end.”

“Sometimes when there is no purpose for things they are random ideas that come out of the brain that makes us do actions we later regret.”

“He said he didn’t regret killing Leslie.”

Mrs. Hill paused. “Julie, you’re young. Go home and take a nap, sweetie, and we’ll have this all figured out.”

Julie looked out the window, looking at the beautiful blue sky above her streak on endlessly, and she nodded briefly to herself, finally thinking that she maybe had a little understanding unto Laz’s argument.

That she was just one puzzle piece in the world; that was in a box of others, but didn’t know what any of the other pieces looked like, but connected with them in ways that made them all compatible. And that she could only see the pieces she was connected with, not the entire picture or the pieces on the other side of the puzzle. But Laz meant that taking one piece out of the puzzle would disrupt the others, making them look around and open their eyes, to see the big picture.

“He wasn’t a bad person, mom.” Julie said absently. “He just got the wrong idea. It’s not how you go about showing people- you don’t share your misfortunes with others, you have to tell them about it, and then they’ll learn.”

“Julie, don’t be ridiculous, your sister Leslie…”

Julie looked into the mirror. “Mom, I miss Leslie with all my heart. I have cried every night, and prayed that this was all a dream.” Her voice softened. “But the past is past, and I think that Leslie will be happier if I make a change with what happened instead of sleeping on the misfortunes on our doorstep.” She paused. “Mom, I think I want to go back and see Laz before they put him to death.”

“Julie, what are you talking about?” Mrs. Hill questioned, her voice alarmed. “Are you okay?”

“Here-Mom, stop by the next store. I want to buy a puzzle.”